A Spiritual Story

Let me start off by saying my spiritual journey has not always been 100% joyful. This journey at times has been somewhat debilitating and at times, I’ve likened it to being in a spiritual prison with no escape where guards are invisible, not seen but felt. As a spirit having a human experience, I found I could not and cannot always communicate with them as they speak a different language — they speak energy, I speak English. I’ve felt isolated. Every so often I get frustrated and feel no warmth, no family, no friends…how can that be with other humans around, with love surrounding me?

I understand I’ve made mistakes in my life but I keep in mind I never ever killed anyone. If I hurt anyone, I know I did not do it intentionally for the most part. I believe I’ve been generous. I was not aware that being too generous is not always a good thing. What goes around does not always come around, remember that. I ask for forgiveness, I forgive myself. While Spirit is silent, I know in my heart space I’ve been forgiven.

My life is full of what they call synchronicities. I see numbers quite frequently. 111, 1111, 222, 333, 444, 555. I look them up and they basically all say the same thing — I’m going through a spiritual awakening. What’s ironic is I thought I was going through this awakening for the past thirty-plus years. You see, spiritual awakenings can stem from not so good experiences — love, career, health and more. Over thirty years ago, it was career for me, I was despondent and having come from a very religious ancestry, I found myself fasting one day and repeating Divine Love manifest in me now. Soon thereafter I felt a very strong presence and cried, “You’re here!” I felt this energy which felt like liquid began to roll throughout my body from head to toe, I was awash with spiritual frequency and the result, the end result was having a Presence within me.

This Presence remains with me to this very day. It’s held me and kept me for years and if I make a move that is not good for me, my left ear hurts painfully while if I am heading in the right direction, I felt safe and secure because there is no pain. Occasionally if I move to execute something where I’m in doubt but it’s a positive move, my right ear feels a soft shot come in confirming it’s the right decision. My point is, I always thought this was truly my spiritual awakening and became used to it however I’d be remiss if I didn’t share that there have been times when I no longer wanted the experience but I’ve always accepted that this is a gift and will never leave me. I knew I asked for and received.

I try to be kind and do the right thing however it can be difficult at times — I’m human for goodness sakes. It’s really particularly trying when I am around those who appear unkind or treat others poorly particularly while at work. I understand the best I can do is to forgive them for they know not what they do. Sometimes I think perhaps they are lost or maybe they just don’t care that it’s important to be kind. If they’re rude to me, I choose to believe it must be that I hurt them in another life and this is their way to settle the score — thinking this way makes me chuckle and not let their energy invade my space. I listen to those who blatantly scoff and share their belief there are no reprisals in how they treat others noting in the afterlife everyone just sleeps which makes me wonder if there is accountability after death, the silence from spirit has made me feel yes, there very well is…at least the way my heart understands it.

While I thought I had already gone through my awakening, it appears I was wrong, this unbelievable adventure has simply been my spiritual journey which of course, altered my life allowing me to visit places and meet people of every ethnicity and culture one can only dream of. Candidly, spirit was just getting started with me in the almost four decades because in truth, my spiritual awakening has just begun, it’s time to ascend and for all the experience I thought I had, I have arrived at a juncture that is exciting yet a bit terrifying however I understand the need to embrace and enjoy it. There’s a duality of positive and negative. It’s all about energy and frequency and living moment to moment leaving the past behind with no cares for the future. It’s about letting go of everything material and just being. It’s eliminating focus on me and placing maniacal attention on unity and we.

For me I realize this is a contract made before I came to earth and was born in human form. I recognize everything which has happened to me in my lifetime has been for both good and bad — for a reason. I didn’t realize that I needed to have experiences which I would in the future observe others going through so I could demonstrate empathy and understanding while assisting where I could. It’s funny, right now I have no idea where I’m headed but rest assured, I’m not alone, I have what I consider a host of spirit guides accompanying me, they point me to what I must learn here — it seems strange but they have the ability to find the right article, the right YouTube video, the right post on Medium and the right person I need to learn from opportune moments.

We’re all aware we are here to learn and grow. I began by stating my experience hasn’t always been joyful and I feel I can make that statement because at times it doesn’t seem to be that way for both me as well as for my guides. See, I can be stubborn and I can get overwhelmed and yes, there are times I want a whole new set of spirit guides who I believe should coddle me and remove any and all obstacles so I don’t have to learn and grow. They remain stoically silent as I act out as a toddler waiting patiently for me to return to what I’ve nicknamed my prison cell and let me be very clear, it really is a beautiful holding cell with everything I want and need, there is no lack, I get to see the abundance we all have from within. My tantrums stem from the fact that my memory of where I came from was erased at birth and I am feeling uncomfortable. What I’ve learned is I now know why I have longed many times to go home while standing in my very own earth home. Net, I fully understand and appreciate there is a reason I am here period. I want to run versus walk — essentially comprehend more, be more, hear more, learn and grow faster but…it’s all in good time, I must have patience.

Spiritual journeys are unique to each and every one of us. Sometimes it's helpful to have someone who can help guide you through these times. Untethered You reminds you to enjoy the process because the journey is more important than the outcome...it's where and how you learn and grow.

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